Kendra shuddered in the toilet where she had been hiding for some time. Once again, Jackie had made her sad, angry, and depressed. Kendra was sick and tired of it all. Slowly, tears rolled down her eyes in despair. She remembered how long things had been bad in school with Jackie. The bullying all started in their first year in high school when she had made a joke about Jackie’s hair in class. Truthfully, the hair was not that bad. Jackie had never forgiven her and looked for every opportunity to call her names. She called her a slut, bitch, and many other names. Many rumors were flying around about Kendra about her sexual preference and escapades which were untrue. Kendra knew no one could have started them except Jackie. Wiping her eyes with the tissue she had been holding for some time, she Kendra stood up. The maltreatment was getting out of control. How would she deal with this form of bullying? It was time to stand up for herself.
Are you in Kendra’s situation currently? Do you know someone in her situation? Sexual bullying is becoming more pervasive in the country today. Research has proven it is becoming more common in high school. Sexual bullying takes place between both sexes. It often involves the following acts: making sexual jokes or comments about someone, engaging in slut shaming or public shaming that is sexual in nature, posting sexual comments, pictures or videos on social media, calling someone sexually explicit and derogatory names, and many more actions. Bullying in any form whatsoever is tough to handle and can take away your happiness. Most people that go through this feel incapacitated as they don’t know how to manage it. Here are some ways of dealing with sexual bullying:
Understand What Bullying is: In dealing with bullying, you need to understand what bullying is. Many people mistake some other actions for a form of bullying. Take time to do your research about sexual bullying. Are you sure what is going on is sexual bullying? Also, you need to understand why people bully. A lot of bullies are usually depressed and angry. Some of them are envious of you and would like to have what you own. Understanding all these will help you know that whatever is going on is not your fault. You are not the cause of it. The bully is first and foremost the person you should blame.
Walk Away From the Bully: When bullies taunt you, what they want is a reaction from you. Most times, they want you to hit them, so both of you start fighting. If you want to deal with sexual bullying successfully, learn to walk away. It might be very hard, but it will be to your advantage in the long run. When he or she starts talking or doing things to you, calmly show you are not interested in what they have to say and turn your back away. With time, they will understand they cannot get a rise out of you.
Resist the Urge to Insult Back: The most natural thing that happens to us as humans is to insult back when we are demeaned. However, if you do this, it will only degenerate into a tug of war going back and forth. Learn to control your feelings and resist the urge to insult back.
Focus on the Positive Aspects of Yourself: The truth is that if a bully is taunting you with words, it will hurt. They will target your weaknesses which you probably feel insecure about. However, they cannot get you down without your consent. Focus on the positive aspects of yourself and rise above whatever they say. You are not what they try to reduce you to. You are so much better and so much powerful than that. Believe it!
Make New Friends: If you are the type of person that gets sad and depressed quickly, you need to make new friends. The fact is name-calling can make you cry. It can make you quite upset, and if not careful, it can cause depression. Investing your time in a new activity can help you feel better. You will focus your time and energy on other things other than the bully. Joining an activity group will also help you make new friends in the same area of interest. These friends might end up being friends for life.
Report to an Adult: If none of the above-listed options works, it is time to report to an adult. An adult will always try to help you and the bully sort out the differences. Make sure the adult you choose to confide in is someone you trust. It can be your mom, dad, or a teacher you like. The most important thing is to make sure you tell them all the details of whatever has been going on. An adult will help handle the bully much better.
Don’t Stress Yourself Over It: The final thing you need to remember is not to stress over what is going on. As we said earlier, bullies lash out because they are unhappy with something going in in their lives. The quicker you understand that, the better. Now that you know, stop worrying about the problem. The time you spend worrying can be utilized to achieve a lot more.
Are you feeling better now? Can you see that how you look at react to bullies depends on your emotions? Don’t give them the privilege of knowing they have hurt you. Research has shown that if bullies do all they can, but you refuse to provide them with a reaction, such as crying, shouting, and so on, they will leave you alone. Sexual bullying is not easy because it might involve your personality, body, and reputation. But remember, you are better than whatever it is that happens. Anything that happens does not define who you are or what you are. You are who you choose to be!
Photo Credit: Villageq