Rick is a male friend to Jan who went through an emotionally draining divorce. After a year, their friendship took a new turn as they developed romantic attraction to each other. Rick did not know what to do with his feelings for a divorced woman. He didn’t know what to look out for and if the relationship would thrive considering that Jan even has two kids also. So, Rick sought us out and asked us for advice. Well, we told Rick about most of the things he needed to think through before dating Jan. By the time we ended the counselling session, Rick knew the steps he would take. We are aware that you would also like to know the things we told Rick. Here are few of the things we told Rick to consider before dating a divorcee:
- Emotional state: A divorced woman has walked to through the path of loving and being loved. In addition to that, she has felt the pain of love and marriage. She has been wounded which is contrary to her expectations of a happy-ever-after union. So, before you consider dating such woman, you have to be certain of her emotional state. You need to know whether she has fully healed from the pain of going through a divorce. You also need to ascertain that she still believes in love and ready for another trial. If you date an emotionally imbalanced divorced lady, you may end up being frustrated and thereby, hurting her more.
- Kid’s acceptance: If you have ever met a divorced woman with children, you would know how overprotective of them she is. Her children’s opinion about her social life would determine if your relationship would thrive. So, once you start developing affection for a divorced woman, ask her about her children. And ask about what they think about her starting another relationship. If she says she has never had the discussion with them, encourage her to do so in a subtle manner. You need to be sure that the kids would accept you before you get involved with their mother.
- Relationship expectations: A divorced woman has seen every side there is to a relationship. And based on that, some of her expectations might be more that what you are capable of giving. And another thing you need to know is that she may always compare you to her ex-husband and anticipate that you to do better than him. Truth be told, such high expectations would break a relationship. As such, you need to know what is expected of you in the relationship. And be confident that they correspond with your goals also.
- Financial responsibilities: Everyone has financial obligations, but it might be more for a divorced woman, especially one with kids. So, find out about how much monetary assistance that you are expected to render if you eventually start the relationship. Furthermore, you have to consider the fact that you may need to house the divorced woman and her kids after a while. And before you get to that level, you must think about the funding involved and if you are ready to take up that much role.
Divorced women are not hurtful souls; they are just people who have gone through broken marriages that left them broken in some ways. So, if you want to date one, you should seek to make her heal better and give her reasons to love again. We wish you a long-lasting relationship if you decide to go ahead. But if you decide that you cannot date her based on all you have read, be matured about your reasons for backing off so as not to hurt her more.
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